A friend of mine sent me this post, wanting to remain anonymous. I was really touched by her honesty in dealing with an ongoing challenge. I believe when we do as she did during times of trial and look to Christ, we gain a better perspective. As she did, we can try to turn these hard times into times of learning and growth. Here's what she shared:
Today was a rough day for me. Time was flying by and while getting ready for church my blood was boiling as I could hear car videos from Facebook downstairs. I had asked him half an hour ago to get ready for church, but my husband still sat in his basketball shorts browsing Facebook. I managed to get my two year old's shirt and tie on before he put up a fight and would not get dressed anymore.
I was not going to fight it today. I rushed up to the bathroom before the dam of tears was going to break. Why is this so hard? We have been in the ward for over 5 years and I don't feel like i know anyone..or the people I do know don't seem to care to get to know me, almost like its all a big popularity contest. Church shouldn't feel like that.. I shouldn't let other people effect my relationship with God. I don't always particularly like my calling so I struggle to go myself... but why can't my family go to church like everyone else?
I slammed the door as I walked out to the car alone. For the first time in 2014, I was going to church, but alone yet again. Anger, frustration, sorrow all run through my body. Why can't my husband just go? After all the stupid times I have went somewhere for him..after all the times I did him favors. 3 hours a week. Thats all I ask for. If he doesn't care to go for his salvation, then why can't he go just for me?
This really got me thinking. Is this the way Christ feels? Going to church, prayer, scripture studying, serving...all things we should be doing, but do I even try? Its hard to understand how he could give everything, even his life and not complain about it.
I don't know if my husband will ever actually WANT to go to church, but I need to do my part to be an example to him and my son. It'll be a long and hard road, but I hope and pray it will have some effect on him. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. Alma 36:7.
Rebekah, I admire your friend for her courage in sharing something so personal. Her vulnerability and honesty are refreshing. We need more of this so others may help and support us in our challenges. I am sure there are many other women just like her going through a similar trial week after week. As I read through her post the word "alone" stuck out to me and I feel impressed to share something. The most significant moments of suffering and pain during the Savior's mortal ministry were experienced when he was alone. I believe this part of His atoning sacrifice we can relate to. We have all felt "alone" at one point or another in our lives. We know that the Atonement is infinite in coverage of feelings we experience - including the sadness and frustration your friend feels as she prepares her family for church alone. I know the Savior sees her sacrifice. I also know there are many that love her on the other side of the veil that are assisting her in ways she has probably recognized. The Lord "will not leave her comfortless" as she is striving to do the things He has asked her to. With her continued faithfulness and prayers her husband's heart may be softened. Until that time comes, she will feel an added measure of support and assistance as she prays for help from her loving Heavenly Father. Blessings have and will continue to come to her family. Although her son is young, he sees her devotion. May the Lord continue to bless and sustain her through this trial. Thank her for sharing it. Love you, Rebekah. - Carrie M.
ReplyDeleteRebekah, I was so touched by your friends post. My mom spent the first 20 years of her marriage taking her six children to church alone and I will be forever grateful to her for that. I know she experienced many of the same feelings as your friend shared. My angel moms "small and simple" example strengthened our family and I do not doubt because my mother knew the gospel of Jesus Christ is true!
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